a peaceful car ride

these are my thoughts from my car ride yesterday to kent! i had such a fun time with God, singing along to my radio of just praying in silence. six hours is quite a bit of time to just think and reflect, but i'm just blessed to have spent it with my best friend (: this is a humble lesson i was pondering that i recorded on my phone. (minimal editing done)

“thinking about how our faith makes us righteous (back in Romans 4 and Genesis 15) and how our faith is what saves us. it’s an idea that almost proves itself: we read in Ephesians 2:8-9 and in Titus 3:5 it is by grace that we have been saved, through faith. our acts cannot save us. a majority of the time we’re doing things that are not giving glory to God. our nature is to be a sinner. our nature is sinful. we’re rebelling against God constantly. that’s why we cannot do anything big enough to save us. Jesus, and our belief in the fact that Jesus died for us, is ultimately what saves us. and i think about “why can’t i save myself? why do i have to rely on him?” referring back to the nature of human beings, Jesus was there in the beginning. Jesus was there in the garden with adam and eve. Jesus was already in the plan. in the beginning of the world, god said let us do this and let us make this. He’s talking to the trinity. He’s referring back to his council; the Holy Spirit and Jesus, “let us make man in our image.” it’s the image of God, but it’s also the image of the trinity. it’s holy and perfect. it’s beautiful. but our nature was always to be sinful. and that’s why Jesus was there in the beginning, God knew what was going to have to happen. God knew in the beginning of the world that we were going to need something to save us and bring us back to Him.

back to why our acts cannot do that, it is because we are not Jesus. we cannot be our own god, we cannot be our own savior. i think back to one of my favorite songs: part of the chorus goes “the worst of me is written in stone (its permanent, stays forever), but the best of me is written in water.” if you write something in water, make even a ripple, it goes away instantly. it’s there for less than a second. the best of us is changing all the time. we can think were doing so good as a Christian and growing so close to the Lord, but, no.  we’re not gonna be there. until we die and get to heaven and actually receive that from God we are not there. we are not home yet by any means. our best day here on earth is still not home. we’re not there yet. we can think that were having the best time, but this is not the best. the best is yet to come. the best is yet to come! how amazing is that, that we have a promise like this! that when we die and go to the Father it will be better than we can imagine. we get to be with our Lord, our Savior, our Father in heaven.

that’s what i wanna leave ya’ll with. might be a little bit of a rant, but i need the constant reminder than my acts are not what saves me. i will always fall short of the glory of God. and what’s more, i need to forgive myself for what I’ve done. God have forgiven me, wiped my slate clean. if i can’t forgive myself, it makes the forgiveness of the Lord seem lesser than what it really is. if the perfect Creator of the world can forgive what i’ve done, in the past, the present, and the future; i need to move on. i need to stop dwelling in the past, stop getting stuck on my failures, my sins (big and small alike). i need to stop looking back. I’m not fully complete yet. I’m not entirely who God desires me to be, but i am not where i was before. and that is a praise! that is a praise to God for changing my life and making me something different, for taking my heart of stone and transforming it.

i definitely have my tendency to give in to temptation. on this highway for example: i definitely have the temptation to make other drivers angry if they are driving in a way that’s bothersome. but that is not ok. that is not showing them Jesus Christ. that is not what Jesus would do. he would be kind. my job is not to make them angry. my prayer is that my heart would be filled with the fruit of the Spirit.”

a quick parting note: i like to talk out loud in the car because it makes my thoughts more real. they’re definitely more concrete when i can speak them aloud. it’s almost like i can grab onto them. and one thing i love more than anything is being able to pray out loud. after talking about this idea of faith and acts, i continued to pray throughout the last 17 miles of my journey. this particular drive to kent was surely one of my favorites. there will be many more in the future, and i’m continually inspired to sing and shout my praises to God!