Mabel Jean: when God turns depression into JOY!

my hope is that you find this post refreshing as i find my way out of my blogging rut.

as this summer has taken off, i have been battling a dark depression. i moved back home may 10 and even though it hasn't even been three weeks yet, it has felt like ages. i have parted ways with many of my old friends from high school. my best friend kaylea is going to be gone all summer (more on this adventure later) and my attempts to hangout with my siblings haven't been going anywhere. this summer just felt hopeless for a while. little by little, however, my attitude has been changing and my heart shifting.

one thing i love about my church in kent is that their goal isn't to just bring the gospel to college students, they're passionate about helping us see that we play a big part in God's ultimate plan. we can live missional lives no matter what our field of study is. that's something i've always felt my home church lacked. i attend Willow Creek Community Church where i first fell in love with Jesus as a sophomore in high school. (wow, it's almost been 4 years since i've given my life to Christ!!! 7-11-09!!!!) with a congregation reaching into the 10,000s, it's hard to bring about a revelation in everyone that helps them understand that the way they live their life matters, not just for their own sake but for the sake of non-believers.

my depression was shattered and my heart started changing when i heard my pastor, and Willow Creek's Director of Discipleship, Shane Farmer give a message during a wednesday midweek service. he selected a passage that said "you will know them by their fruit". he quickly jumped into Galatians for a refresher on what these fruits are. then we dove into Psalm 1 and talked about what it looked like to be planted in the living water. i was missing a key ingredient in my life: spending time with God. from this sermon i knew i needed to start feeding my soul in small amounts everyday; i needed to get back in the Word. if you'd like, you can listen or watch this sermon here!

this past sunday is when i was set on fire by the Holy Spirit. Steve Carter, Willow Creek's Director of Evangelism, kicked off week two of our new "Risk" series. it's all about putting yourself in situations and risking the comfort of sitting back to connect with people. it's genuinely about relationships. he asked the bold question, "does you life beg and demand an explanation?" people won't come up to you and just ask about life, its your job to be the risk taker, to be seeking out missional opportunities. he highlighted four key values and characteristics of a risk-taker: living intentionally, showing up with great expectancy, sparking ongoing connections, and being willing to risk boldly. i love this because my heart was in desperate need of a revival, this was just the wake up call i needed. if you want, listen or watch part two of the Risk series here!

currently, i'm involved at the high school level (Student Impact) serving as a fill-in small group leader for the summer. along with re-learning how to connect with high school students, i've been enjoying the few opportunities i've had to get to know the other leaders serving with me, who are all relatively close to my age. there is a ministry for 20 somethings and college students called Axis. so far, i have tried to join a small group with little success and being able to attend on wednesdays has proven more difficult than expected. but i'm sure as i get more involved it will be a natural place to get to know others. because i love kids and i miss babysitting in kent so much, i also plan to serve in Promiseland during sunday services! Promiseland is awesome and i am eagerly looking forward to working with the kids!

after God started rekindling the Spirit inside me, i started looking life with wonder again. things that used to seem gloomy are really blessings in disguise. i feel like this summer will be a summer where i will discover who i am in God without people to cling to or impress. i'm really excited to see what He has in store!

with all of that said, kaylea is currently on her way to Disney World! not only is this just a genuinely exciting place to be, but she is going with her campus ministry, CRU, on a summer project trip where she will be serving Christ working as cast member of the park and sharing Jesus with people all over Orlando! within the very first days of summer i realized i would be without her, and my emotions turned from being excited to sadness and anger. now, i feel more excited than i ever was and am eager to keep up with her and am looking forward to hearing her tell me stories when she returns august 1! if you would, please join me in praying for her and the others on this summer project team; for their safety, for their hearts, and for their minds. if you'd like to follow kay and her progress, click here!

i'm looking forward to a few visits to and from friends throughout the summer. coming up soon, i will be back in ohio for my friends Tyler and Brittany, they are getting married June 8!!! i am SUPER amped for that! i'm also looking forward to visiting my friends who are going to the LT program in Virginia and also trying to get out to those at LT in Colorado! i'll be going to Sandblast with Student Impact, and i am so very excited to be once again reppin' the orange crush tee shirts!! i'm also excited and eagerly expecting a visit from a far away friend (but i can't reveal who now!) there is a lot of excitement in store for the summer, but it will be spread out over the entire four months. i am now expectant of God to move in huge ways as i've witnessed my own heart ache turn in to an overflow of love, hope, and joy!

thank you for bearing with me as i pour out my heart! i pray that God will bless you, and as always, if you have prayer requests please leave a comment below or contact me via social platforms!