putting faith in what you can't (fore) see

please join me in Romans 15. this is a super cool passage that has given me so much hope. Paul speaks of his desire to visit the church in Rome, he's had a desire to fellowship with them and enjoy their company. yet, he's doing what God has called and going into places he hasn't been. he's going into these places to preach the gospel of Jesus. all along, Paul remains completely convinced that when he does visit Rome, after his task is complete, he will have the fullest blessing of the Lord to enjoy their company before moving on again. then, in closing, Paul asks the Romans to join him in praying for the time that still separates them. for his safety and security with an opposed people, for the softening of unbelieving hearts and acceptance of the gospel, and finally that his return to Rome will be refreshingly filled with joy!

as many of you may know, i'm studying abroad next year, all year. starting off in Florence, Italy and then going to New York City. i've had this huge fear that i wouldn't be able to keep in touch with my friends from Kent. either i'd be too out of the loop or we would lose contact altogether. the combination of my fears about losing the comforts of my Kent-home have had me second guessing if this is what i'm supposed to do, i've been doubting my endeavor all along. but this passage speaks so clearly into my situation. i may not be going with the specific intent to preach the gospel, but i am still a missionary of the Lord. i am still going to uncharted territories and my life will be my message; to my roommates, those we travel with, and locals in Florence who will get to know my face. i know i will return to Kent in the right timing, and it is then that i will be able to fully experience the joys and refreshments of community!

this is where i get to ask you all to join in praying for me. please pray for our entire groups' travels, that we would arrive safely without harm to ourselves or our things. also, that i would stay strong in my faith while being away. please ask God to remind me daily to cling to the promises of His Word. and finally, pray about contacting me. i would very much enjoy receiving your iMessages, as WiFi permits, or seeing your lovely faces via Skype or Google+ hangout!

i am turning this trip over to God. by giving Him this big chapter in my life, i expect that He will show up in big ways. i am going to join with Paul, as he said in  Colossians, and let Christ's peace rule in my heart, as i boldly and with confidence trust in the Word of God.

thank you in advance for your continuing prayers for me. i am so thankful for all of you.

when God turns depression into JOY!

my hope is that you find this post refreshing as i find my way out of my blogging rut.

as this summer has taken off, i have been battling a dark depression. i moved back home may 10 and even though it hasn't even been three weeks yet, it has felt like ages. i have parted ways with many of my old friends from high school. my best friend kaylea is going to be gone all summer (more on this adventure later) and my attempts to hangout with my siblings haven't been going anywhere. this summer just felt hopeless for a while. little by little, however, my attitude has been changing and my heart shifting.

one thing i love about my church in kent is that their goal isn't to just bring the gospel to college students, they're passionate about helping us see that we play a big part in God's ultimate plan. we can live missional lives no matter what our field of study is. that's something i've always felt my home church lacked. i attend Willow Creek Community Church where i first fell in love with Jesus as a sophomore in high school. (wow, it's almost been 4 years since i've given my life to Christ!!! 7-11-09!!!!) with a congregation reaching into the 10,000s, it's hard to bring about a revelation in everyone that helps them understand that the way they live their life matters, not just for their own sake but for the sake of non-believers.

my depression was shattered and my heart started changing when i heard my pastor, and Willow Creek's Director of Discipleship, Shane Farmer give a message during a wednesday midweek service. he selected a passage that said "you will know them by their fruit". he quickly jumped into Galatians for a refresher on what these fruits are. then we dove into Psalm 1 and talked about what it looked like to be planted in the living water. i was missing a key ingredient in my life: spending time with God. from this sermon i knew i needed to start feeding my soul in small amounts everyday; i needed to get back in the Word. if you'd like, you can listen or watch this sermon here!

this past sunday is when i was set on fire by the Holy Spirit. Steve Carter, Willow Creek's Director of Evangelism, kicked off week two of our new "Risk" series. it's all about putting yourself in situations and risking the comfort of sitting back to connect with people. it's genuinely about relationships. he asked the bold question, "does you life beg and demand an explanation?" people won't come up to you and just ask about life, its your job to be the risk taker, to be seeking out missional opportunities. he highlighted four key values and characteristics of a risk-taker: living intentionally, showing up with great expectancy, sparking ongoing connections, and being willing to risk boldly. i love this because my heart was in desperate need of a revival, this was just the wake up call i needed. if you want, listen or watch part two of the Risk series here!

currently, i'm involved at the high school level (Student Impact) serving as a fill-in small group leader for the summer. along with re-learning how to connect with high school students, i've been enjoying the few opportunities i've had to get to know the other leaders serving with me, who are all relatively close to my age. there is a ministry for 20 somethings and college students called Axis. so far, i have tried to join a small group with little success and being able to attend on wednesdays has proven more difficult than expected. but i'm sure as i get more involved it will be a natural place to get to know others. because i love kids and i miss babysitting in kent so much, i also plan to serve in Promiseland during sunday services! Promiseland is awesome and i am eagerly looking forward to working with the kids!

after God started rekindling the Spirit inside me, i started looking life with wonder again. things that used to seem gloomy are really blessings in disguise. i feel like this summer will be a summer where i will discover who i am in God without people to cling to or impress. i'm really excited to see what He has in store!

with all of that said, kaylea is currently on her way to Disney World! not only is this just a genuinely exciting place to be, but she is going with her campus ministry, CRU, on a summer project trip where she will be serving Christ working as cast member of the park and sharing Jesus with people all over Orlando! within the very first days of summer i realized i would be without her, and my emotions turned from being excited to sadness and anger. now, i feel more excited than i ever was and am eager to keep up with her and am looking forward to hearing her tell me stories when she returns august 1! if you would, please join me in praying for her and the others on this summer project team; for their safety, for their hearts, and for their minds. if you'd like to follow kay and her progress, click here!

i'm looking forward to a few visits to and from friends throughout the summer. coming up soon, i will be back in ohio for my friends Tyler and Brittany, they are getting married June 8!!! i am SUPER amped for that! i'm also looking forward to visiting my friends who are going to the LT program in Virginia and also trying to get out to those at LT in Colorado! i'll be going to Sandblast with Student Impact, and i am so very excited to be once again reppin' the orange crush tee shirts!! i'm also excited and eagerly expecting a visit from a far away friend (but i can't reveal who now!) there is a lot of excitement in store for the summer, but it will be spread out over the entire four months. i am now expectant of God to move in huge ways as i've witnessed my own heart ache turn in to an overflow of love, hope, and joy!

thank you for bearing with me as i pour out my heart! i pray that God will bless you, and as always, if you have prayer requests please leave a comment below or contact me via social platforms!

willow main stage from the third balcony

  

in our family, we value togetherness. and nothing brings people together like sports!

GO BLACKHAWKS! 

i love Charlie, our soft coated wheaten terrier puppy!!! he's 3 years old and full of life!

faster than the speed of light

tuesday, as many of you ohioans know, was absolutely gorgeous. it was supposed to thunderstorm all day, and instead the weather surprised us with glorious sunshine and 70 degrees of happiness. two of my classes got cancelled and i decided to take a bike ride down to the river.
because of my schedule, solitudes and time with God altogether have to be purposefully scheduled and planned. so what a wonderful blessing it was to spend a few hours down with Him at one of my favorite spots in Kent! i don't want to share everything from that time, reflecting on many psalms and romans 12, but i do want to share one thought.
as the sun was pouring down its warmth upon kent, i recalled something i learned a few years back in a science class. even with how fast the speed of light travels, it takes some time to reach us here on earth. and i thought about how God had divinely orchestrated that moment, from he suns light starting its journey to earth all the way until it reached me. looking at the big picture, from the very beginning He began to plan my life and include me in His divine plan. how great is our God, the One we serve is truly the creator of this universe! He is faster than he speed of light, He has known me intimately and completely since He created me in His image, since i was conceived as a joyful thought of His. and He continues to know me with each passing day, hour, and minute. oh how i needed that reminder, i need that everyday!
i hope you're able to take away from this what i was; that God fully loves you and understands you. like a good parent, sometimes He disciplines or says no to things, only because He's thinking of us. His timing is perfect. we just need to be obedient and walk in the faith He has given us.

a long, long time ago

Actually not too long ago, I was in Amsterdam. Before and even now that our trip has come and gone, it's been a really busy time getting my life together. I feel like organizing my life is a constant battle of reviewing my schedule and rearranging plans to squeeze everything in. It's hard to believe that in 4 short weeks, I'll be home for the summer. It feels like I still have forever.
Anywho, I wanted to post some reflection on Amsterdam. After a group barbecue last night I was able to gather some thoughts and put them into a note on my phone (I finally joined the rest of the work on the iPhone network.) So here's a little bit of my reflection, more is surely going to come eventually.

My triumph and my setback are the same in their main essence. I realized how small I am and how big our God is. I am so immensely blessed by seeing God work everywhere. No matter where or what we were doing, or what group of us were there, I saw Gods provision without fail. That being said, I also saw myself as small as a setback. I got in the way of myself. Exodus 18:18 says that this burden is not yours alone to bear and I realized that even though I am passionate about social justice, church planting, and being abroad; my excitement and energy alone are not going to change these situations. These people need a Savior, and thats not my job description. Nor will it ever be. I just need to be Mabel, willing and able as I can be. A humbling experience, yet super encouraging.

updates!

hello folks! i just wanted to offer up a few exciting update pertaining to h2o and Amsterdam!

in the h2o's ministry arena, this past friday & saturday was the annual women's weekend retreat! we got to hear jen arnold speak on the topic of missional living! she taught about how our head, heart, and hands impact the missionaries we all are: in a local context. how in our head we must know that our identity comes from Christ; that we are nothing without Him and that we can do nothing of our own will. next, we align our heart with His; how God's heart is for His Church (capital "C": community of believers) and we grow through the church (local place of worship). finally, we talked about practicals on reaching the community with our hands; intentionally submersing ourselves into the culture. we are to be in the world, and not of it. the ladies enjoyed some amazing fellowship in the form of a dance party, breakout groups, and encouragement notes! the weekend overall was a much needed refresher.

all this talk about being a missionary made me super pumped to be in the Kent community. Kent is a pretty sweet place! it's small town mixed with college life feel is a great place to enjoy a great time with friends but also is an excellent missions field! my heart was definitely convicted about the amount of time i spend doing outreach, especially since i have this amazing opportunity with a community as large as 28,000! i also was able to think a lot about being an international missionary, specifically with thoughts about Amsterdam.

i've been talking the past couple weeks about getting ready to spend my spring break in this wonderful dutch city: Amsterdam, the Netherlands!!! our team of ten will be departing from akron, ohio march 23! i want to offer these next few words to give you guys as much as i know about the trip details so far! i am so blessed by your partnership with me in prayers and support! once we arrive in Amsterdam, we are immediately going to start the celebrating! our sister church that is in the Netherlands is called Amsterdam50 and this year they will be celebrating their 10 year anniversary! it actually happens to fall over the weekend we get there and so we are going to be throwing them a birthday party! we're going to be spending the day doing a walking tour of the church's history in the city: places where the church has had meetings and significant connections. i'm really excited for this day of just being able to see God's providing and His plan for this church! it's also going to be a great way to get to know the city of Amsterdam! the next few days we're going to spend in the city, doing street evangelism and even working with an organization called Not for Sale! (view the campaign's website here!) that is by far what i'm the most excited to do. God has given me a heart that breaks for abused and mistreated women. this organization works to build relationships with some of the women that have fallen victims of the sex trafficking in the Red Light district. one of the ways this organization works in Amsterdam is by serving a humble meal of soup to the women. we get to help serve the soup and even eat with them. we get to share Jesus with the trafficked women. we get to love them!!!! the other days in the Netherlands we are traveling to a university town called Groningen where we will be doing to church planting type activities. Amsterdam50 is looking to expand the love of Jesus and capture the hearts of their country for God.

man, i am so pumped about that! God is so good. tonight even at the h2o worship gathering i was re-captivated by Jesus. we started a new series called The Glory of The Cross. tonight we revisited the Lord's Supper through the context of Exodus 12. basically, after the Israelites were enslaved by the Egyptians, God's heart for His people moved him to plague the Egyptians until Pharaoh would relent. in the third plague, the plague of the first-born, God said that He would kill all first-born members of each family. in order to protect the Israelites from this punishment, he told them to sacrifice the most perfect lamb they could find and take the blood and smear it on their front doors. the blood was a sign of the covenant relationship the people of that household shared with God. flipping forward to Matthew 26, Jesus says "this is my blood of the covenant..." Jesus is the PERFECT SACRIFICE! Jesus is the lamb! at this point in time, He knows that execution is soon before Him. and He is the only sacrifice that can buy our freedom from our sin. one of the worship songs we sang tonight was Nothing But the Blood. my favorite lyric: "nothing can for sin atone, nothing but the blood of Jesus. not of good that i have done, nothing but the blood of Jesus." dang. so powerful, and so true. awesome night of worship for sure.

there's this one song that came to my mind as well called More Like Falling in Love by Jason Gray. it talks about how faith is like falling in love with Jesus. the reason why we follow Him is because we believe in Him and have a relationship with Him. we are sons and daughters of the Father! Galatians 3:26 even says so- and we LOVE our Daddy! 

my heart is overflowing tonight. oh sweet, amazing grace. God is so incredible.

thank you for taking time out to read this post. i appreciate you!

love,
mabel jean

cool nights are for long drives

"Sometimes I feel alone. Some days are long and hard. But when I look out into the world, I am struck by the impossible beauty of it all. Those billions of magnificent accidents that led us to where we are today, that led us to paper planes and nautilus shells and the tiny, crooked smiles of children. When I think about all the small imperfections of the world, I have faith that my time will come. I have faith that someday, a warm light will flood over me and I will find peace."

this quote comes from a book sold at urban outfitters. no idea which one, if i knew the author or book i would give massive credit where credit is due. but this quote give me hope. i hang onto this, this idea that we need to stay strong and put our faith in the hope we have. i think that's so beautiful.

well friends. i'm going for a drive. it's a thought-clearing kind of night. super necessary.

the theme today is forgiveness

my heart has been hard today. i have not been flexible, or even kind for that matter. i am a selfish sinner. and this breaks my heart.

thursday nights, i go to a bible study lead by my good friends anna and leah. last night, we started off by reading 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. then, all of the girls were invited to participate in something anna does called "three things thursday". to practice a heart of continual thanksgiving, anna takes time on thursday to pick out three things and simply thank God for them. my three things were:

1. my current season of life.

       this includes where i am (physically, mentally, emotionally), where i'm going in all of those categories, and the things i'm learning. it may be complicated and confusing, but it's truly exciting.

2. relationships

       the friends i've been able to make this semester are a blessing to my life. they've added so much fullness to my day! those who have been on my heart, either pouring into me or vice-versa, have been immensly fruitful.

3. fashion

       i've had second thoughts about my major before i even picked it. "is it practical? how could that possibly further the kingdom of Jesus? can i even be successful?" i've been constantly learning that this is something God has given me a passion for because He has a plan to use it. but looking forward to next year with great anticipation, i realize that i couldn't see myself doing anything else. in case you're unaware, next year i have been blessed to have the opportunity to study abroad both semesters! i will be spending the fall in Florence, Italy and then moving to New York for the spring (and possibly summer).

today, i've been reflecting on these things and recognizing how simply being thankful for things you have can melt a heart of stone. i desperately need to remember to count my blessings on a regular basis. in addition to gratitude, i'm putting a twist on that same concept with my version: forgiveness friday.

i am so humbled by God's grace. even as i drown in my sin, i am constantly being placed on firm ground. Jesus is always doing a work in my heart. as a daily devotion, i decided to kick off 2013 by read a Psalm everyday. psalm-a-day. by a calendar's count, i'm a little behind in where i'm supposed to be. ironically, the days i find myself behind in reading, i find myself reading exactly what i need to hear. i'm so amazed how God works in this way. three main points i'm reminded of as i've been reading Psalm 38-40:

1. God does not delay.

       as also read in Habakkuk 2:3, God promises that He is not slow in progress but simply moving in His time. this is so relevant in my life. God's promises are being realized and fulfilled one by one in a most perfect timing that i could not even imagine. this group of psalms lays out this idea that even as i'm surrounded and overwhelmed with pain, God is rescuing me. God delights in offering salvation to the worst of sinners, like me.

2. God is with me.

       these psalms reveal that God is with me always, im my times of rejoicing and in my times of trouble. because of this, i'm reminded of a specific song. Lecrae- Free From It All sends the message that when we sin (inevitably) we are free because of Jesus Christ. i'm free to live and be and feel because of the grace God offers through his Son. and the great thing is, God desires all of us. He has a very specific plan for each one of us, and He desires to have a relationship with each of us.

on a side note- a lot of people ask me about my "religion" all the time. i'd just like to say that Jesus Christ is my SAVIOR, not my religion. i follow God not out of obligation, but out of love. i have an intimate relationship with the Ultimate Creator, Provider, Lover, Father. and that's what makes me a Christian. i'm reppin Romans #116.

that's something that gets me going. if your goal is to tick me off, ask me about religion. if your going to base your "faith" on relying God to get you through the hard things but not praising Him in your successes, if you're going to call on God for forgiveness but keep living in the same sin, if you're going to go to church on Sunday but forget Jesus every other day of the week; you are not a Christian. you're a hypocrite. and no, i'm not sorry to say that. there are times where we're all hypocrites. but don't claim Jesus' salvation in your life if you don't take up your cross. "rep the Lord truly" -Lecrae.

the rant's over now. moving on...

3. God is unfailing in all ways.

       God hears us! even the prayers we can't formulate into words, He hears us. God IS unfailing love, strength, and forgiveness. and there are infinite more!!! i love the way Psalm 40:17 puts it,

"Since I am afflicted and needy,

Let the Lord be mindful of me.

You are my help and my deliverer;

Do not delay, O my God."

God is good today. God offers the ultimate forgiveness, and i want to leave you with this as a challenge. three questions,

1. what are you thankful for today?

2. what is God saving you from today? what weight is He taking off your shoulders?

3. are you living the kind of life that glorifies God, always?

these are good questions that i really think should be considered everyday. seriously take time to ask yourself these. i think i'm truly humbled by answering honestly.

also, all of the verses for today have been posted in the New American Standard Bible (NASB) version. feel free to use a different version!