This post is a bit of a rant. The long and the short of it really boils down to me not liking people tell me what to do. I'm no wild child. I'm not a crazy party girl, but I'm no good girl. I just like living outside the confines of the box and doing things most people don't. Sometimes I do need to be grounded, and yes I always appreciate when people are blunt with me. But no, I do not appreciate when people think their opinion is so correct they can just make my decisions. I am perfectly capable. And worst case scenario, I need to be free to make my own damn mistakes.
I don't need to be told what works for you. I don't need you to give me a lecture on the way the world spins according to you. You probably don't know what's best for me. I don't even know that, that's only God's place. I'm learning what works for me. And I'd appreciate it if you didn't try to take that freedom from me.
Like I mentioned before, living across an ocean is helping me discover who I am. And I'm realizing that I want to be someone who genuinely loves everyone. Without bounds. Not in that stereotypical way, but a true love and acceptance for everyone. For my gay best friends. For the girls from kent who I get drinks with. For my boyfriend who's not a Christian. I want to love everyone. And I'm discovering that I can't do that until I really know what love is and where is comes from.
At this point, all I can say is that true love comes from God. Because love takes human form in Jesus himself. Fully man, fully deity, and suffered the most excruciating death fathomable. For a people who mocked him. I hear my voice molding from the crowds. More often than not. It's shameful. But he loves me anyways. And that is the truest love anyone can ever hope to know.
So here's to an everlasting love. One that I hope everyone sees. Not necessarily in me. I'm human. And I've done quite a terrible job repping Jesus' name in Italy. But I do pray that everyone sees this love that is always before you.
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