updates!

hello folks! i just wanted to offer up a few exciting update pertaining to h2o and Amsterdam!

in the h2o's ministry arena, this past friday & saturday was the annual women's weekend retreat! we got to hear jen arnold speak on the topic of missional living! she taught about how our head, heart, and hands impact the missionaries we all are: in a local context. how in our head we must know that our identity comes from Christ; that we are nothing without Him and that we can do nothing of our own will. next, we align our heart with His; how God's heart is for His Church (capital "C": community of believers) and we grow through the church (local place of worship). finally, we talked about practicals on reaching the community with our hands; intentionally submersing ourselves into the culture. we are to be in the world, and not of it. the ladies enjoyed some amazing fellowship in the form of a dance party, breakout groups, and encouragement notes! the weekend overall was a much needed refresher.

all this talk about being a missionary made me super pumped to be in the Kent community. Kent is a pretty sweet place! it's small town mixed with college life feel is a great place to enjoy a great time with friends but also is an excellent missions field! my heart was definitely convicted about the amount of time i spend doing outreach, especially since i have this amazing opportunity with a community as large as 28,000! i also was able to think a lot about being an international missionary, specifically with thoughts about Amsterdam.

i've been talking the past couple weeks about getting ready to spend my spring break in this wonderful dutch city: Amsterdam, the Netherlands!!! our team of ten will be departing from akron, ohio march 23! i want to offer these next few words to give you guys as much as i know about the trip details so far! i am so blessed by your partnership with me in prayers and support! once we arrive in Amsterdam, we are immediately going to start the celebrating! our sister church that is in the Netherlands is called Amsterdam50 and this year they will be celebrating their 10 year anniversary! it actually happens to fall over the weekend we get there and so we are going to be throwing them a birthday party! we're going to be spending the day doing a walking tour of the church's history in the city: places where the church has had meetings and significant connections. i'm really excited for this day of just being able to see God's providing and His plan for this church! it's also going to be a great way to get to know the city of Amsterdam! the next few days we're going to spend in the city, doing street evangelism and even working with an organization called Not for Sale! (view the campaign's website here!) that is by far what i'm the most excited to do. God has given me a heart that breaks for abused and mistreated women. this organization works to build relationships with some of the women that have fallen victims of the sex trafficking in the Red Light district. one of the ways this organization works in Amsterdam is by serving a humble meal of soup to the women. we get to help serve the soup and even eat with them. we get to share Jesus with the trafficked women. we get to love them!!!! the other days in the Netherlands we are traveling to a university town called Groningen where we will be doing to church planting type activities. Amsterdam50 is looking to expand the love of Jesus and capture the hearts of their country for God.

man, i am so pumped about that! God is so good. tonight even at the h2o worship gathering i was re-captivated by Jesus. we started a new series called The Glory of The Cross. tonight we revisited the Lord's Supper through the context of Exodus 12. basically, after the Israelites were enslaved by the Egyptians, God's heart for His people moved him to plague the Egyptians until Pharaoh would relent. in the third plague, the plague of the first-born, God said that He would kill all first-born members of each family. in order to protect the Israelites from this punishment, he told them to sacrifice the most perfect lamb they could find and take the blood and smear it on their front doors. the blood was a sign of the covenant relationship the people of that household shared with God. flipping forward to Matthew 26, Jesus says "this is my blood of the covenant..." Jesus is the PERFECT SACRIFICE! Jesus is the lamb! at this point in time, He knows that execution is soon before Him. and He is the only sacrifice that can buy our freedom from our sin. one of the worship songs we sang tonight was Nothing But the Blood. my favorite lyric: "nothing can for sin atone, nothing but the blood of Jesus. not of good that i have done, nothing but the blood of Jesus." dang. so powerful, and so true. awesome night of worship for sure.

there's this one song that came to my mind as well called More Like Falling in Love by Jason Gray. it talks about how faith is like falling in love with Jesus. the reason why we follow Him is because we believe in Him and have a relationship with Him. we are sons and daughters of the Father! Galatians 3:26 even says so- and we LOVE our Daddy! 

my heart is overflowing tonight. oh sweet, amazing grace. God is so incredible.

thank you for taking time out to read this post. i appreciate you!

love,
mabel jean

cool nights are for long drives

"Sometimes I feel alone. Some days are long and hard. But when I look out into the world, I am struck by the impossible beauty of it all. Those billions of magnificent accidents that led us to where we are today, that led us to paper planes and nautilus shells and the tiny, crooked smiles of children. When I think about all the small imperfections of the world, I have faith that my time will come. I have faith that someday, a warm light will flood over me and I will find peace."

this quote comes from a book sold at urban outfitters. no idea which one, if i knew the author or book i would give massive credit where credit is due. but this quote give me hope. i hang onto this, this idea that we need to stay strong and put our faith in the hope we have. i think that's so beautiful.

well friends. i'm going for a drive. it's a thought-clearing kind of night. super necessary.

the theme today is forgiveness

my heart has been hard today. i have not been flexible, or even kind for that matter. i am a selfish sinner. and this breaks my heart.

thursday nights, i go to a bible study lead by my good friends anna and leah. last night, we started off by reading 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. then, all of the girls were invited to participate in something anna does called "three things thursday". to practice a heart of continual thanksgiving, anna takes time on thursday to pick out three things and simply thank God for them. my three things were:

1. my current season of life.

       this includes where i am (physically, mentally, emotionally), where i'm going in all of those categories, and the things i'm learning. it may be complicated and confusing, but it's truly exciting.

2. relationships

       the friends i've been able to make this semester are a blessing to my life. they've added so much fullness to my day! those who have been on my heart, either pouring into me or vice-versa, have been immensly fruitful.

3. fashion

       i've had second thoughts about my major before i even picked it. "is it practical? how could that possibly further the kingdom of Jesus? can i even be successful?" i've been constantly learning that this is something God has given me a passion for because He has a plan to use it. but looking forward to next year with great anticipation, i realize that i couldn't see myself doing anything else. in case you're unaware, next year i have been blessed to have the opportunity to study abroad both semesters! i will be spending the fall in Florence, Italy and then moving to New York for the spring (and possibly summer).

today, i've been reflecting on these things and recognizing how simply being thankful for things you have can melt a heart of stone. i desperately need to remember to count my blessings on a regular basis. in addition to gratitude, i'm putting a twist on that same concept with my version: forgiveness friday.

i am so humbled by God's grace. even as i drown in my sin, i am constantly being placed on firm ground. Jesus is always doing a work in my heart. as a daily devotion, i decided to kick off 2013 by read a Psalm everyday. psalm-a-day. by a calendar's count, i'm a little behind in where i'm supposed to be. ironically, the days i find myself behind in reading, i find myself reading exactly what i need to hear. i'm so amazed how God works in this way. three main points i'm reminded of as i've been reading Psalm 38-40:

1. God does not delay.

       as also read in Habakkuk 2:3, God promises that He is not slow in progress but simply moving in His time. this is so relevant in my life. God's promises are being realized and fulfilled one by one in a most perfect timing that i could not even imagine. this group of psalms lays out this idea that even as i'm surrounded and overwhelmed with pain, God is rescuing me. God delights in offering salvation to the worst of sinners, like me.

2. God is with me.

       these psalms reveal that God is with me always, im my times of rejoicing and in my times of trouble. because of this, i'm reminded of a specific song. Lecrae- Free From It All sends the message that when we sin (inevitably) we are free because of Jesus Christ. i'm free to live and be and feel because of the grace God offers through his Son. and the great thing is, God desires all of us. He has a very specific plan for each one of us, and He desires to have a relationship with each of us.

on a side note- a lot of people ask me about my "religion" all the time. i'd just like to say that Jesus Christ is my SAVIOR, not my religion. i follow God not out of obligation, but out of love. i have an intimate relationship with the Ultimate Creator, Provider, Lover, Father. and that's what makes me a Christian. i'm reppin Romans #116.

that's something that gets me going. if your goal is to tick me off, ask me about religion. if your going to base your "faith" on relying God to get you through the hard things but not praising Him in your successes, if you're going to call on God for forgiveness but keep living in the same sin, if you're going to go to church on Sunday but forget Jesus every other day of the week; you are not a Christian. you're a hypocrite. and no, i'm not sorry to say that. there are times where we're all hypocrites. but don't claim Jesus' salvation in your life if you don't take up your cross. "rep the Lord truly" -Lecrae.

the rant's over now. moving on...

3. God is unfailing in all ways.

       God hears us! even the prayers we can't formulate into words, He hears us. God IS unfailing love, strength, and forgiveness. and there are infinite more!!! i love the way Psalm 40:17 puts it,

"Since I am afflicted and needy,

Let the Lord be mindful of me.

You are my help and my deliverer;

Do not delay, O my God."

God is good today. God offers the ultimate forgiveness, and i want to leave you with this as a challenge. three questions,

1. what are you thankful for today?

2. what is God saving you from today? what weight is He taking off your shoulders?

3. are you living the kind of life that glorifies God, always?

these are good questions that i really think should be considered everyday. seriously take time to ask yourself these. i think i'm truly humbled by answering honestly.

also, all of the verses for today have been posted in the New American Standard Bible (NASB) version. feel free to use a different version!

short but sweet

this post is gonna be simple. as in: i really want to create a post, but don't have a couple extra hours handy to write something seemingly thoughtful and provoking. so here are my thoughts from these last couple weeks:

life gets busy. it's freaking insane how many things you an actually fit into a 7-day schedule. but while you're busy being busy, never forget that life is happening. all around you. in this very instant you're read this, unbelievable things are happening everywhere. don't be too busy to notice. maybe you don't have time to stop and stare or take a picture, but make sure that you absorb the wonders of this earth.
this may sound dull, but even on a bad day there are little things that can brighten any mood. be open and look onto life with positive eyes.

right now, even as i sit at my desk in my dorm, i am amazed by this space. it's a bit cramped, with every square foot overflowing with books and clothes and miscellaneous remnants of old memories, but every single one of these items is a treasure. the arrangement of our room (which i personally think my roommate, maegan, and i did a great job with!), the cluttered knickknacks on my desk, all of the pictures and wall art around our space. this is my little piece of home in kent, and this is me hoping that i remember to cherish all of the moments i have in it!

this is my encouragement to you this week: enjoy life to the fullest. soak in every rich moment: all of them are dripping with joy.

have a blessed week!
~mabel

"rejoice always!"

-the words of Paul: Philippians 4:4, 1 Thessalonians 5:16

a peaceful car ride

these are my thoughts from my car ride yesterday to kent! i had such a fun time with God, singing along to my radio of just praying in silence. six hours is quite a bit of time to just think and reflect, but i'm just blessed to have spent it with my best friend (: this is a humble lesson i was pondering that i recorded on my phone. (minimal editing done)

“thinking about how our faith makes us righteous (back in Romans 4 and Genesis 15) and how our faith is what saves us. it’s an idea that almost proves itself: we read in Ephesians 2:8-9 and in Titus 3:5 it is by grace that we have been saved, through faith. our acts cannot save us. a majority of the time we’re doing things that are not giving glory to God. our nature is to be a sinner. our nature is sinful. we’re rebelling against God constantly. that’s why we cannot do anything big enough to save us. Jesus, and our belief in the fact that Jesus died for us, is ultimately what saves us. and i think about “why can’t i save myself? why do i have to rely on him?” referring back to the nature of human beings, Jesus was there in the beginning. Jesus was there in the garden with adam and eve. Jesus was already in the plan. in the beginning of the world, god said let us do this and let us make this. He’s talking to the trinity. He’s referring back to his council; the Holy Spirit and Jesus, “let us make man in our image.” it’s the image of God, but it’s also the image of the trinity. it’s holy and perfect. it’s beautiful. but our nature was always to be sinful. and that’s why Jesus was there in the beginning, God knew what was going to have to happen. God knew in the beginning of the world that we were going to need something to save us and bring us back to Him.

back to why our acts cannot do that, it is because we are not Jesus. we cannot be our own god, we cannot be our own savior. i think back to one of my favorite songs: part of the chorus goes “the worst of me is written in stone (its permanent, stays forever), but the best of me is written in water.” if you write something in water, make even a ripple, it goes away instantly. it’s there for less than a second. the best of us is changing all the time. we can think were doing so good as a Christian and growing so close to the Lord, but, no.  we’re not gonna be there. until we die and get to heaven and actually receive that from God we are not there. we are not home yet by any means. our best day here on earth is still not home. we’re not there yet. we can think that were having the best time, but this is not the best. the best is yet to come. the best is yet to come! how amazing is that, that we have a promise like this! that when we die and go to the Father it will be better than we can imagine. we get to be with our Lord, our Savior, our Father in heaven.

that’s what i wanna leave ya’ll with. might be a little bit of a rant, but i need the constant reminder than my acts are not what saves me. i will always fall short of the glory of God. and what’s more, i need to forgive myself for what I’ve done. God have forgiven me, wiped my slate clean. if i can’t forgive myself, it makes the forgiveness of the Lord seem lesser than what it really is. if the perfect Creator of the world can forgive what i’ve done, in the past, the present, and the future; i need to move on. i need to stop dwelling in the past, stop getting stuck on my failures, my sins (big and small alike). i need to stop looking back. I’m not fully complete yet. I’m not entirely who God desires me to be, but i am not where i was before. and that is a praise! that is a praise to God for changing my life and making me something different, for taking my heart of stone and transforming it.

i definitely have my tendency to give in to temptation. on this highway for example: i definitely have the temptation to make other drivers angry if they are driving in a way that’s bothersome. but that is not ok. that is not showing them Jesus Christ. that is not what Jesus would do. he would be kind. my job is not to make them angry. my prayer is that my heart would be filled with the fruit of the Spirit.”

a quick parting note: i like to talk out loud in the car because it makes my thoughts more real. they’re definitely more concrete when i can speak them aloud. it’s almost like i can grab onto them. and one thing i love more than anything is being able to pray out loud. after talking about this idea of faith and acts, i continued to pray throughout the last 17 miles of my journey. this particular drive to kent was surely one of my favorites. there will be many more in the future, and i’m continually inspired to sing and shout my praises to God!

the sufficiency of faith

today i'm reflecting on Romans 4. i think this is such an important piece of Scripture to share. i'm realizing so much about my own faith just by reading about the faith of one man. i'd like to invite you to follow along as my post today will be more of a bible study than a weekly update.

this section of Paul's letter to the Romans is sometimes referred to as "the sufficiency of faith". in other words, "faith is enough". just my research on different titles this passage has been given by scholars reminds me of the promise in 2 Corinthians 2:9-10. if our Father's grace is more than enough to cover our past, present, and future sins; our faith in our Father is enough to live on.

i really enjoy how Paul starts off this section of the letter talking about works-based faith (v.2). we know that our faith doesn't come from our own works, but it is a gift of grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). and Paul shows that of Abraham in verse 3, when he quotes Genesis 15:6. in verses 4 & 5 Paul explains further; "now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. however, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness." this means that applies to all of us.

verses 6-12 talk about who exactly God's blessing is for. Paul quotes David from Psalm 32:1-12. blessing is clearly for those who give themselves fully to the Lord. so is blessing for the circumcised or the uncircumcised? Paul defines circumcision as "a seal of righteousness." let's refer back a few chapters to Romans 2:28-29. Circumcision isn't just an outward act. It represents how we must circumcise our hearts and cut out the parts of us that are evil. God doesn't desire rituals, He desires our full devotion to Him. our full surrender to Him is imperative.
now in verses 13-15 we explore what was promised to Abraham in Genesis 15:1-5. this promise was not God's obligation to Abraham, as if He owed something to a man that He had created. but, rather, this promise was made through Abraham's faith. and this promise of righteousness is guaranteed to all of Abraham's offspring. "he is the father of us all...he is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed..." (v. 16-17)

this may seem like a lot up to this point, but i truly think that this last paragraph trumps the rest in impact. verse 18 starts off saying that "against all hope, Abraham in hope believed..." stop there. time for a self-check (and some healthy conviction). how many times a day do i doubt? how many times a day do i think that i have enough strength to make it through on my own? who am i kidding? i need to keep my faith and hope strong, just as Abraham did. continuing in verse 19: "without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead." right now i have a bum knee and it hurts to walk or ever bend it in the slightest. will i have faith that God can heal my knee? because all of the odds were against Abraham. he was old and his wife couldn't produce children. yet God promised to make him a father of many nations, that he would have offspring of his own. verses 20-21: "yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." somehow, when all of the odds were against him, his faith GREW! his faith was made stronger and he praised God. he believed 100% in God's words. maybe this wouldn't be immediate (25 years passed before his son Isaac was born) but God did follow through.

verses 23 and 24 cap off the chapter perfectly: "The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead." our belief and faith in Jesus' resurrection is our ticket to righteousness. God, through Jesus, has promised us that we will do even greater things (John 14:12)!

challenge: can you live everyday having complete faith in what our Father in Heaven has promised us? that's my challenge to myself today. will i give God even a fraction of the glory He so deserves today? i'm gonna give it my all, that's for sure.

make sure to find my instagram too! @mabeljean (:

drowning in the ocean of grace

tonight, i am just in awe. i am so immensely grateful for grace. there is a God who loves me so much that He wipes my slate clean. my past sins, my current sins, and my future sins. every single day, He is faithful. wow.

right now, however, i find myself having to do something very difficult for me: analyzing my feelings. this process is excruciatingly painful for me. i'm stuck thinking, "why can't i just throw a smile on a get on with life?" i know that i don't always have to be happy, but it's just easiest. especially as an enthusiast. (see Enneagram Institute for details, type 7! throw them sevens up!) over the past few days, even as i have been surrounded by people, i have just felt super alone. there are so many contributing factors. a big element is that i am simply missing kent. i miss my best friends from school, the people who know me inside and out, and things that are familiar. my one best friend from home has been gone since i got back from our family vacation, so i have been spending a lot of time alone. my family's house doesnt feel like home, more like a very temporary dwelling place where i can idle in between semesters. i am seeing a glimpse of light, though. the good news: i'm finding that the only way to unclutter my mind is sorting through each bit with God. and i am learning a LOT.

a few thoughts from my journal a few days ago:

"In my loneliness, I don’t feel like anyone cares? I have friends who care for me and pray for me and love me through anything (even if I can’t be physically with them). I have a family who display forgiveness and love to me often. And my GOD! My God loves me more and knows me better than anyone ever could. He has the number of the hairs on my head, knows my thoughts before I think them, and He collects my tears.

My heart breaks...because the Lord sees me and I have betrayed Him. I completely abandoned Him. In my time of weakness, I didn't look for the Strength to pull me out; in my darkness I did not look for the Light. My heart breaks because God’s heart breaks. You know the song “Hosanna”? In the bridge, they sing “Break my heart for what breaks yours”. I have prayed that prayer countless times. My heart has been broken for countless things as I've seen the Lord’s heart break for His people. But I've come to realize something. The Lord’s heart breaks because of my sin against Him, yes, but it also breaks for me. My Father in Heaven has a heartache when He sees me heading in a direction that is bad for my heart. His heart doesn't just break for His sake, it breaks for mine. His heart breaks because He cares for me. What?!"

this is such a new concept to me. God isn't just sad because i betrayed Him, God's desire for me is so strong that He doesn't want me to wander into the wrong direction. how selfless is He in His emotions!!! this is so convicting. a great reminder that i am not doing anything for my own gain, but so that my Father in Heaven can be glorified!!!

today, i was able to spend a lot of time with my mom. to be completely honest, when she first asked me to join her, i was really dreading the whole thought. i went with her to walk the mall, then we went for a craft supply run, and after a quick bite to eat, we went to see a movie. as comfortable as i was eating breakfast in front of the tv early this morning, i am so glad i got up and out of my comfort zone. even when i am not feeling up to anything, i sure am seeing the benefits of investing in others. i am so blessed and honored to have the opportunity to spend the day with someone i love so dearly. i cherish my mom and am humbled to know her more deeply after today!

well, there you have it folks. first post of 2013!!! one of my goals is to be able to post more often; i so enjoy it and it really does help in sorting my thoughts. as for new year's resolutions, this is hard. i have so many goals and i'm currently in the process of reevaluating them. my biggest one by far is to seek God in everything and pray for more opportunities to share His amazing love. i'm hoping to figure out the ideal routine where i will have enough time to have QT in the morning and start my day off right!

here’s a few quick updates! some things I’m looking forward to this semester that bring me massive joy and you may consider joining me in praying about!

in the fashion realm, my best friend kate and i have submitted designs and been chosen to create for a huge fashion show in kent this coming march! when we get back to school we are going to start pattern drafting and buying fabric, i am very excited for this! it should be a very fun time! also, i am going to be training for a 5K with some friends from work when i get back, i am immensely excited for that! (i am have only recently started running, don’t judge! Matthew 7:1-2, John 8:3-7) and i think the most exciting update of all is that i will be heading to Amsterdam, The Netherlands for spring break this year! our team of 11 will be heading overseas for 8 days to do some work with a church over there, evangelizing and stirring up spiritual conversation on the streets, and doing some preliminary church planting activity!!! i am so, SO blessed to have been allowed to go on this trip and have recently started my support raising process! if you could pray with me about getting all of my finances in check in preparation for this trip, it would me greatly appreciated!

friends, i thank you for all your patience as i pour out my heart, and i’d love to hear from you as well! if you have a prayer request, i’d love to pray with you! just leave a comment or facebook/tweet/text me! i’m all ears!!

many blessings in this new year!

~mabel