short but sweet

this post is gonna be simple. as in: i really want to create a post, but don't have a couple extra hours handy to write something seemingly thoughtful and provoking. so here are my thoughts from these last couple weeks:

life gets busy. it's freaking insane how many things you an actually fit into a 7-day schedule. but while you're busy being busy, never forget that life is happening. all around you. in this very instant you're read this, unbelievable things are happening everywhere. don't be too busy to notice. maybe you don't have time to stop and stare or take a picture, but make sure that you absorb the wonders of this earth.
this may sound dull, but even on a bad day there are little things that can brighten any mood. be open and look onto life with positive eyes.

right now, even as i sit at my desk in my dorm, i am amazed by this space. it's a bit cramped, with every square foot overflowing with books and clothes and miscellaneous remnants of old memories, but every single one of these items is a treasure. the arrangement of our room (which i personally think my roommate, maegan, and i did a great job with!), the cluttered knickknacks on my desk, all of the pictures and wall art around our space. this is my little piece of home in kent, and this is me hoping that i remember to cherish all of the moments i have in it!

this is my encouragement to you this week: enjoy life to the fullest. soak in every rich moment: all of them are dripping with joy.

have a blessed week!
~mabel

"rejoice always!"

-the words of Paul: Philippians 4:4, 1 Thessalonians 5:16

a peaceful car ride

these are my thoughts from my car ride yesterday to kent! i had such a fun time with God, singing along to my radio of just praying in silence. six hours is quite a bit of time to just think and reflect, but i'm just blessed to have spent it with my best friend (: this is a humble lesson i was pondering that i recorded on my phone. (minimal editing done)

“thinking about how our faith makes us righteous (back in Romans 4 and Genesis 15) and how our faith is what saves us. it’s an idea that almost proves itself: we read in Ephesians 2:8-9 and in Titus 3:5 it is by grace that we have been saved, through faith. our acts cannot save us. a majority of the time we’re doing things that are not giving glory to God. our nature is to be a sinner. our nature is sinful. we’re rebelling against God constantly. that’s why we cannot do anything big enough to save us. Jesus, and our belief in the fact that Jesus died for us, is ultimately what saves us. and i think about “why can’t i save myself? why do i have to rely on him?” referring back to the nature of human beings, Jesus was there in the beginning. Jesus was there in the garden with adam and eve. Jesus was already in the plan. in the beginning of the world, god said let us do this and let us make this. He’s talking to the trinity. He’s referring back to his council; the Holy Spirit and Jesus, “let us make man in our image.” it’s the image of God, but it’s also the image of the trinity. it’s holy and perfect. it’s beautiful. but our nature was always to be sinful. and that’s why Jesus was there in the beginning, God knew what was going to have to happen. God knew in the beginning of the world that we were going to need something to save us and bring us back to Him.

back to why our acts cannot do that, it is because we are not Jesus. we cannot be our own god, we cannot be our own savior. i think back to one of my favorite songs: part of the chorus goes “the worst of me is written in stone (its permanent, stays forever), but the best of me is written in water.” if you write something in water, make even a ripple, it goes away instantly. it’s there for less than a second. the best of us is changing all the time. we can think were doing so good as a Christian and growing so close to the Lord, but, no.  we’re not gonna be there. until we die and get to heaven and actually receive that from God we are not there. we are not home yet by any means. our best day here on earth is still not home. we’re not there yet. we can think that were having the best time, but this is not the best. the best is yet to come. the best is yet to come! how amazing is that, that we have a promise like this! that when we die and go to the Father it will be better than we can imagine. we get to be with our Lord, our Savior, our Father in heaven.

that’s what i wanna leave ya’ll with. might be a little bit of a rant, but i need the constant reminder than my acts are not what saves me. i will always fall short of the glory of God. and what’s more, i need to forgive myself for what I’ve done. God have forgiven me, wiped my slate clean. if i can’t forgive myself, it makes the forgiveness of the Lord seem lesser than what it really is. if the perfect Creator of the world can forgive what i’ve done, in the past, the present, and the future; i need to move on. i need to stop dwelling in the past, stop getting stuck on my failures, my sins (big and small alike). i need to stop looking back. I’m not fully complete yet. I’m not entirely who God desires me to be, but i am not where i was before. and that is a praise! that is a praise to God for changing my life and making me something different, for taking my heart of stone and transforming it.

i definitely have my tendency to give in to temptation. on this highway for example: i definitely have the temptation to make other drivers angry if they are driving in a way that’s bothersome. but that is not ok. that is not showing them Jesus Christ. that is not what Jesus would do. he would be kind. my job is not to make them angry. my prayer is that my heart would be filled with the fruit of the Spirit.”

a quick parting note: i like to talk out loud in the car because it makes my thoughts more real. they’re definitely more concrete when i can speak them aloud. it’s almost like i can grab onto them. and one thing i love more than anything is being able to pray out loud. after talking about this idea of faith and acts, i continued to pray throughout the last 17 miles of my journey. this particular drive to kent was surely one of my favorites. there will be many more in the future, and i’m continually inspired to sing and shout my praises to God!

the sufficiency of faith

today i'm reflecting on Romans 4. i think this is such an important piece of Scripture to share. i'm realizing so much about my own faith just by reading about the faith of one man. i'd like to invite you to follow along as my post today will be more of a bible study than a weekly update.

this section of Paul's letter to the Romans is sometimes referred to as "the sufficiency of faith". in other words, "faith is enough". just my research on different titles this passage has been given by scholars reminds me of the promise in 2 Corinthians 2:9-10. if our Father's grace is more than enough to cover our past, present, and future sins; our faith in our Father is enough to live on.

i really enjoy how Paul starts off this section of the letter talking about works-based faith (v.2). we know that our faith doesn't come from our own works, but it is a gift of grace (Ephesians 2:8-9). and Paul shows that of Abraham in verse 3, when he quotes Genesis 15:6. in verses 4 & 5 Paul explains further; "now when a man works, his wages are not credited to him as a gift, but as an obligation. however, to the man who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness." this means that applies to all of us.

verses 6-12 talk about who exactly God's blessing is for. Paul quotes David from Psalm 32:1-12. blessing is clearly for those who give themselves fully to the Lord. so is blessing for the circumcised or the uncircumcised? Paul defines circumcision as "a seal of righteousness." let's refer back a few chapters to Romans 2:28-29. Circumcision isn't just an outward act. It represents how we must circumcise our hearts and cut out the parts of us that are evil. God doesn't desire rituals, He desires our full devotion to Him. our full surrender to Him is imperative.
now in verses 13-15 we explore what was promised to Abraham in Genesis 15:1-5. this promise was not God's obligation to Abraham, as if He owed something to a man that He had created. but, rather, this promise was made through Abraham's faith. and this promise of righteousness is guaranteed to all of Abraham's offspring. "he is the father of us all...he is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed..." (v. 16-17)

this may seem like a lot up to this point, but i truly think that this last paragraph trumps the rest in impact. verse 18 starts off saying that "against all hope, Abraham in hope believed..." stop there. time for a self-check (and some healthy conviction). how many times a day do i doubt? how many times a day do i think that i have enough strength to make it through on my own? who am i kidding? i need to keep my faith and hope strong, just as Abraham did. continuing in verse 19: "without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead—since he was about a hundred years old—and that Sarah’s womb was also dead." right now i have a bum knee and it hurts to walk or ever bend it in the slightest. will i have faith that God can heal my knee? because all of the odds were against Abraham. he was old and his wife couldn't produce children. yet God promised to make him a father of many nations, that he would have offspring of his own. verses 20-21: "yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised." somehow, when all of the odds were against him, his faith GREW! his faith was made stronger and he praised God. he believed 100% in God's words. maybe this wouldn't be immediate (25 years passed before his son Isaac was born) but God did follow through.

verses 23 and 24 cap off the chapter perfectly: "The words “it was credited to him” were written not for him alone, but also for us, to whom God will credit righteousness—for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead." our belief and faith in Jesus' resurrection is our ticket to righteousness. God, through Jesus, has promised us that we will do even greater things (John 14:12)!

challenge: can you live everyday having complete faith in what our Father in Heaven has promised us? that's my challenge to myself today. will i give God even a fraction of the glory He so deserves today? i'm gonna give it my all, that's for sure.

make sure to find my instagram too! @mabeljean (:

drowning in the ocean of grace

tonight, i am just in awe. i am so immensely grateful for grace. there is a God who loves me so much that He wipes my slate clean. my past sins, my current sins, and my future sins. every single day, He is faithful. wow.

right now, however, i find myself having to do something very difficult for me: analyzing my feelings. this process is excruciatingly painful for me. i'm stuck thinking, "why can't i just throw a smile on a get on with life?" i know that i don't always have to be happy, but it's just easiest. especially as an enthusiast. (see Enneagram Institute for details, type 7! throw them sevens up!) over the past few days, even as i have been surrounded by people, i have just felt super alone. there are so many contributing factors. a big element is that i am simply missing kent. i miss my best friends from school, the people who know me inside and out, and things that are familiar. my one best friend from home has been gone since i got back from our family vacation, so i have been spending a lot of time alone. my family's house doesnt feel like home, more like a very temporary dwelling place where i can idle in between semesters. i am seeing a glimpse of light, though. the good news: i'm finding that the only way to unclutter my mind is sorting through each bit with God. and i am learning a LOT.

a few thoughts from my journal a few days ago:

"In my loneliness, I don’t feel like anyone cares? I have friends who care for me and pray for me and love me through anything (even if I can’t be physically with them). I have a family who display forgiveness and love to me often. And my GOD! My God loves me more and knows me better than anyone ever could. He has the number of the hairs on my head, knows my thoughts before I think them, and He collects my tears.

My heart breaks...because the Lord sees me and I have betrayed Him. I completely abandoned Him. In my time of weakness, I didn't look for the Strength to pull me out; in my darkness I did not look for the Light. My heart breaks because God’s heart breaks. You know the song “Hosanna”? In the bridge, they sing “Break my heart for what breaks yours”. I have prayed that prayer countless times. My heart has been broken for countless things as I've seen the Lord’s heart break for His people. But I've come to realize something. The Lord’s heart breaks because of my sin against Him, yes, but it also breaks for me. My Father in Heaven has a heartache when He sees me heading in a direction that is bad for my heart. His heart doesn't just break for His sake, it breaks for mine. His heart breaks because He cares for me. What?!"

this is such a new concept to me. God isn't just sad because i betrayed Him, God's desire for me is so strong that He doesn't want me to wander into the wrong direction. how selfless is He in His emotions!!! this is so convicting. a great reminder that i am not doing anything for my own gain, but so that my Father in Heaven can be glorified!!!

today, i was able to spend a lot of time with my mom. to be completely honest, when she first asked me to join her, i was really dreading the whole thought. i went with her to walk the mall, then we went for a craft supply run, and after a quick bite to eat, we went to see a movie. as comfortable as i was eating breakfast in front of the tv early this morning, i am so glad i got up and out of my comfort zone. even when i am not feeling up to anything, i sure am seeing the benefits of investing in others. i am so blessed and honored to have the opportunity to spend the day with someone i love so dearly. i cherish my mom and am humbled to know her more deeply after today!

well, there you have it folks. first post of 2013!!! one of my goals is to be able to post more often; i so enjoy it and it really does help in sorting my thoughts. as for new year's resolutions, this is hard. i have so many goals and i'm currently in the process of reevaluating them. my biggest one by far is to seek God in everything and pray for more opportunities to share His amazing love. i'm hoping to figure out the ideal routine where i will have enough time to have QT in the morning and start my day off right!

here’s a few quick updates! some things I’m looking forward to this semester that bring me massive joy and you may consider joining me in praying about!

in the fashion realm, my best friend kate and i have submitted designs and been chosen to create for a huge fashion show in kent this coming march! when we get back to school we are going to start pattern drafting and buying fabric, i am very excited for this! it should be a very fun time! also, i am going to be training for a 5K with some friends from work when i get back, i am immensely excited for that! (i am have only recently started running, don’t judge! Matthew 7:1-2, John 8:3-7) and i think the most exciting update of all is that i will be heading to Amsterdam, The Netherlands for spring break this year! our team of 11 will be heading overseas for 8 days to do some work with a church over there, evangelizing and stirring up spiritual conversation on the streets, and doing some preliminary church planting activity!!! i am so, SO blessed to have been allowed to go on this trip and have recently started my support raising process! if you could pray with me about getting all of my finances in check in preparation for this trip, it would me greatly appreciated!

friends, i thank you for all your patience as i pour out my heart, and i’d love to hear from you as well! if you have a prayer request, i’d love to pray with you! just leave a comment or facebook/tweet/text me! i’m all ears!!

many blessings in this new year!

~mabel

Just Another Day

So I've been meaning for blog for a while, but timing never felt right. The past few weeks (and maybe even months) I've just really felt that I've had nothing good to say. Not just to share online, but to say to anyone. Family, friends, strangers; anyone. But tonight, I was standing on the balcony of my hotel room in Puerto Vallarta and I just had to start writing.

The letter I wrote isn't something I'm going to share, but I wanted to copy a few lines.

"I’m going to make a really terrible reference right now but bear with me. I was just watching an episode of The Office (don’t judge me) and Michael was really upset that Holly had a new boyfriend (this is season five, mind you) and it got me thinking. How upset is God when we cheat on Him? How upset and heartbroken is the King of Kings when we make choices everyday that dishonor Him? Yet He still loves us. He still unconditionally loves and cares for us, completely. Our every need, desire, ache; everything is taken care of. He promises to lift us up. The love God pours into us is unfathomable to me. It is simply amazing; this amount of grace and love and care. Wow.

Hope, for me, isn’t something lost, but something I live on. Faith. Hope. Love. And that’s the key to life. Living “the life” isn’t about being the wealthiest, the prettiest, the skinniest, the most liked. It’s about having faith in the One True God, hope in His promises, and loving from the place in our heart that God overflowed."

Now this letter, in its entirety, will be read by one person some day in the future I do not know. But I think this part of the message is universal. Disregard the source of my inspiration; God's love for us is blatant. It's plain and true and simple. He loves us no matter what.

I'm reading this book right now called Soul Healing and the author Tammy Smith (who is an awesome lady if I do say so myself) shared something I have found more and more relevant. She shares the idea that every smile, every laugh, every good time we have is God loving on us. He wants to show us how much He loves us! WOW!!! This is crazy!!! It's taken me days just to unpack that tiny paragraph in this 200-something page book. But what a true statement. God is loving on us in all of the ways that we enjoy ourselves. (Now you can't make fun of me for The Office reference!)

On a completely different note,I was just thinking about the sub-heading on my blog. Something about how I'm a fashion student and blah blah blah. I was thinking to myself, "Gosh, I can't wait to change that title. Finally have a career or be a mom or something like that. Something more permanent." But wait a second, there's two things wrong with that thought. Number one, all things are temporary. Life itself is temporary. All of the different "chapters" of life, if you will, are temporary. And that brings me to point number two: all of these different experiences and locations and titles are molding us further and further each day into who God desires for us to become. Think about it, without your experiences as a child, or even as a young adult, you wouldn't be where you are today.

I love the example my friend shared with me once. As you know, I've been blessed to become involved with an on-campus ministry called h2o church. Randomly one day I asked my friend to share with me how he got involved with h2o. He goes on to say that last year he lived in a residence hall and his R.A. happened to be involved in h2o. He became really close with his R.A. and his R.A. invited him to hangouts and services. Then, by God's grace, he got saved! But get this: if he had lived on a different floor of that building, a floor above or below, he would not have had that same experience. God specifically wanted him on that floor of that residence hall because God desired to capture my friend's heart. And honestly, I think God orchestrated that in a beautiful way.

God is using everything about us to advance His kingdom, but He's also using all of our time. Not a second of a day is wasted in God's eyes.

You are making us new God! You make me new.

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"

2 Corinthians 5:17

a joyful jubilee

*this post is similar to my previous post with the idea that the stories i share may or may not seem to relate. i have a lot on my heart tonight!*

a lot of my insecurities come from the emphasis i place on relationships. i idolize them and place way too high of a value on what people think of me. my friends aren't just people that i love hanging out with; i have a massive fear of losing them every minute.

i place my friendships on a pedestal. especially my friendships with guys. this, combined with the fact that my ultimate love language is quality time, leads me to develop feelings for people quickly. i have been hurt and i have hurt people because of this. it's so true that hurt people hurt people. and one painful thing i'm learning is that my future spouse is going to be affected by this one day as well.

however, in this very instant, i cannot bear to think about getting into a relationship. [PTL!] i have been praying that i won't feel consumed by the thoughts of dating anymore. and tonight i have had a small taste of what that feels like. oh the freedom!

at h2o, there is a team of people that always prays over the service before it starts. as you can imagine, lots and lots and lots of time, preparation, planning, and rehearsing go into making a service happen. but there's also a TON of prayer. when we close our prayer circle, we always encourage each other to go out and meet someone new. at this, i am always conflicted. part of me says, "yes mabel! go meet new people; be a light!" the other part of me says, "yeah right, i'm just gonna go hangout with my friends." i could feel God telling me that today would be a day of making connections.

today at church, i met a girl from china. her name is freesia. my good friend aggy asked her to join us at h2o today. sometimes i'm insecure about what i say to people when first starting a conversation about faith, but the Lord totally gave me the right words to say. my conversation with freesia turned into one that was super fruitful. we ended up exchanging numbers and she asked me to hangout sometime this week! i am so excited to continue our conversation and dive into her life: i cannot wait to find out more about her culture and her beliefs!

another praise from today actually came from my mother. normally, my family and i do not see eye to eye on the subject of faith. my parents especially stand firm on their opinion that i am way too involved in h2o and that my focus on Jesus and serving is terribly damaging to my academics. however, today i had something important to tell me mother that i was nervous and excited about.

during spring break this year, i have the amazing opportunity to potentially participate in a trip going to amsterdam, the netherlands. mind you, there is an application process and support raising that i still need to go through, but if it's God's will, i will be spending the last week of march 2013 in europe! this trip has a few different missions: serving a church one of our pastors helped to start, learning about the culture, evangelizing in the red light district and a university town, and spending a day just exploring on our own. this involves determining rather quickly if this trip is something i am called to.

after a summer in colorado, my mom still doesn't understand too much about support raising. tonight, i wanted to discuss her opinion on the trip, i figured i should start the conversation now when i'm first getting the information than wait until i've already applied. i have come to a place where i know that it is right to honor my parents by hearing their thoughts and considering them, even if what they share may not be what God desires for me. at first, talking to my mom seemed to be turning into another discussion about my faith. yet surprisingly, it made a 180 turn and my mother was extremely receptive to what i had to say. she is working on trying to understand how support raising works and even apologized for forming her opinion before she was able to comprehend it fully. there are still logistics about the trip that i need to figure out, but i'm so relieved to know that my mom is at least open to the idea of me participating in this trip. this was truly a huge step for her, it brought me to tears. my friend elsa encouraged me with this: "there's no way that any person can change their heart like that without God's work in them." God is definitely working in my mom's heart. now, my biggest concern can be putting my faith in the fact that God can and WILL provide the funds needed for this trip.

this weekend has been a beautiful blessing. i have been able to find joy in my fashion work, practice loving on people (especially people who are sometimes hard to love), and on top of all of that, the temperature was in the 60s for a majority of the time. super enjoyable.
a few words from the songs on my heart tonight:

"Holy is the Lord God almighty, the earth is filled with His glory!"  Holy is the Lord- chris tomlin

"breathe in me your life, i can feel you are close now. i can never hide; you are here and you know me. all i need is you and i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you. breathe in me your life til your love overtakes me. open up my eyes, let me see you more clearly. falling on my knees til i love like you love like you love me, i love you."  bones- hillsong united

random thoughts

*please note before reading that this post is way overdue*

sometimes i wonder how God can be so good to us. specifically to me.

these past couple weeks have been especially hard with lots of schoolwork. sewing, drawing, microeconomics, art history, seven ideas, and history of costume are all very time consuming classes just on their own. put them all together and you get about an hour of sleep a night.
not to mention fashion student organization, fashion shows, hall council, two jobs, h2o hangouts, church and all of the different teams i'm a part of. this semester, mabel is on overload. to an extreme. my planner is about 2 inches thick and on any given day i can have as many as 6 events!

yet, in the midst of all of this organized chaos, i am super joyful. i'm not only finding time for the Lord, but i'm making Him the priority. normally, i'd just say "i don't have time for that" and let it be. but that's not at all the case.

i'm currently going through the book of Acts and wow am i amazed. God is so, so incredible. if you know anything about me, you i am not really much of a history buff. i love art and costume history, but if it's any other class i'm usually sleeping. the lessons that God is teaching me through Acts, however, have me wide awake.

two weekends ago, h2o held their annual fall getaway retreat. both kent and pittsburgh churches were present, and we all had a fantastic time. besides the last night games of ice and basketball, bonfires and intimate conversation with close friends, we were blessed to have amazing teachings! jon shah from h2o ohio state came with 3 jam packed sessions that left us all with more ideas to ponder over than any of us were really prepared for.

his first and last teachings were especially impactful. at first, he opened with the story of martha and mary from luke 10. mary makes the choice to be super attentive to Jesus, so much so that her sister martha is demanding that Jesus ask her to help with the preparations! yet, in the middle of all of the necessary chores, Jesus calmy denies her request. 

"'martha, martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.'" Luke 10 : 41 - 42

wow. i'm so in shock about what's going on here. and how relevant this is in it's application to my own life! i get so wrapped up in things (even things in the church) that are not Jesus. nothing could ever possibly be great enough to be a substitute for Him.

matthew 13 : 44 - 46 really helps explain the lesson here well:
"the kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. when a man found it, he did it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field. again the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant looking for fine pearls. when he found one of great value, he went away and sold everything he had and bought it."

my treasure is in Jesus Christ alone! how amazing is our God!

jon's last teaching went over a passage in matthew 14 where Jesus walks on water out to his disciples in a boat. what's really interesting about this passage is that peter, for a short time, walks on the water toward Jesus! unlike most teachings i've heard on this section of scripture, jon didn't highlight what peter did wrong; instead, he advertised peter as a winner!!!

yes, peter lost sight of Jesus and started to sink, but he did walk on the water! how amazingly incredible. when we have those little mustard seeds of faith, we can truly accomplish anything! i could just feel God relaying one message to me so clearly:

Mabel, it's time to step out of the boat.
it's time to take me a faith. it's time to get out of your comfort zone.


on a completely different note, i'm also reading this book called when God writes you love story by eric and leslie ludy. i would recommend this to anyone at any age, single or not. it's definitely a good book for just learning how to love the Lord as your first love, why that's even important, and how to love our counterparts. i know that my relationships with my brothers in Christ tremendously improve when i remember to put into practice what i'm reading. even my relationships with my family have improved.

in this delightful read, the ludy's talk about how your family is like practice for loving your [future] spouse. now that's something i never thought of! all this time, i'm sitting here thinking, "well when i'm married everything will be different" but how can that be true unless i'm working on myself now? if im not practicing tenderness towards my closest family members, those that are hardest to love, how can i ever hope to be a good wife when i'm having a bad day and my patience flies out the window?


God is definitely giving me wake up calls here and there. i'm so excited to continue learning from Him.