Reflections & Dreams

Body & balance.

Those were my key words of 2014. I wanted to focus on a few specific things: making healthy choices for my physical body, as well as finding healthy ways to be involved with the body of the church, and I wanted to strike the right balance in my involvement with church and school.

In 2013, I did a really terrible job with both. I didn't consider care of my body something important. I ate whatever I wanted and rarely exercised. In the spring of 2013 I was over-involved with the body of my church and in the fall I had no community whatsoever. That imbalance was reflected in my priorities: one season my school work wasn't high on my list of priorities and the next season it became one of the most important things.

In the beginning of 2014 I was truly blessed to find Hillsong NYC. I found that the best way to get plugged in was just walking into a room full of strangers with an open mind and a open heart. And, surprisingly, that worked. I met countless friends that I hold so dear just by being a part of the Bløck community. When my good friend Jenna asked the women of our connect group what our "words" for 2014 would be, I somehow found the words body and balance to be extremely relevant, both to life itself and my spiritual journey. That night at Birch coffee, a lot of changes took place inside my heart, and that one night inspired a heart-shift all year long. That group of women showed me what body and balance looked like, as our group was full of talented designers and models and dreamers.

I didn't implement changes perfectly, nor did I remember those words every single day. But as I reflect on the year 2014 was in my life, I truly believe that summarizing my goals and dreams and aspirations into key words helped tremendously.

My new 2015 planner (by Horacio Printing) has a space in the beginning for dream-planning and refocusing, which has inspired me to look for my key words of 2015. I've decided on a short mantra for this year.


Dream BIGGER.


What's in a dream?

According to the Merriam Webster definition of dream, a dream is

• a series of thoughts, visions, or feelings that happen during sleep

• an idea or vision that is created in your imagination and that is not real

• something that you have wanted very much to do, be, or have for a long time. 

So many moments in my life right now revolve around dreams. A few months ago, my friend Philip asked me what my dreams were. That struck me in a way I don't think he could have predicted. What are my dreams?! Honestly I drew a blank at first. I can't remember the last time I dreamt while sleeping. I can promise you that from the moment I knock out to the moment I open my eyes, there's only black. But day dreams?! I thought dreams were impractical, that dreaming doesn't lead to actually getting anywhere and could really only lead to heartbreak. I guess my dream was to design clothes people would actually wear...? To move to New York? Were those good enough dreams? Were they too small? (But then again, does it really matter what anyone else thinks?) So many questions immediately flew around my head that I had to lay my phone aside to remind myself to breathe. 

What are my dreams?

I'm reading a book right now titled "God Has a Dream for Your Life." In the beginning, Sheila introduces her concept with a comparison of Dorothy and Aunt Em from the original book The Wizard of Oz. Aunt Em used to be a dreamer, full of life and spark but then over time, a series of moments took that spark and turned her as grey and dreary as the fields where she lives. Dorothy is the polar opposite. She lives life in full color, laughing and smiling and dreaming all the way. Shelia asks a series of questions at the end of this section that struck me:

[What did you dream of as a little girl? How have your dreams changed? Did you choose to lay them down, or did you have to? Do you even remember what they were?]

I remember dreaming as a kid of having a house and being a mom. I also remember dreaming of being the President of the United States and being a world changer. Today, I couldn't STAND the thought of owning a home let alone having kids in the next 5 years, and I cringe at the thought of politics.

I've come to realize that one of my biggest dreams is really wrapped in my desire to be content. I dream of contentment more than I am actually content in my life. (If that makes any sense.) I don't want to be in a constant state of want, I want to cultivate a heart of gratitude towards what I have, especially that which I have but cannot see. I need to start setting my heart where my real treasure is stored. 

When I was out shopping the other day I saw a shirt that said "don't quit your day dream." My first thought was "that's some dumb shirt a teenage girl is going to wear to high school to make herself look like a free-spirited hippy queen. *Insert pictures of girls in fields of wheat wearing flower crowns with the perfect sunset.* But honestly there's more to that shirt that just half a yard of fabric and a screen print. "Don't quit your day dream" is a PLEA to dream even bigger. You, and by "you" I really mean "I", can nitpick the details and realism of the dream later. For now dream even bigger and set your sights higher!

So here's to 2015. This is going to be the best year of my life because I am going to dream even BIGGER dreams than I could ever imagine being possible. And I hope you'll join me.

With God all things are possible.

Matthew 19:26

He is able to do immeasurably more than we imagine.

Ephesians 3:20

the best is yet to come.